It’s like breathing after a cold

Human’s are habitual creatures. We like walking in the worn lines of the pasture. We like the make them deeper and know that they are ours. They tell us where we go and remind us where we’ve been. But sometimes we have to get away from those paths. We have to force ourselves to get away from the comfortably familiar. And when we do oftentimes we find that it’s like being able to take the first deep breath through a clear head after having a particularly nasty head cold.

I guess I wonder why I do it.

I haven’t taken any photos for a few months. This is odd for me because I am a photographer. I just haven’t felt the need to take photos that I normally feel. I still feel inspiration and wonder when I view other people’s photography, yet it hasn’t driven me to get out and take these photos myself.

I believe my inactivity lately comes down to a feeling of confusion over what the point of doing something is if you’re not trying to push the envelope. It isn’t enough for me to say I do photography because I like taking photographs. It’s not enough for me to say I like taking portraits simply because I like portraying people in an artistic manner. I want to take it further.

I was looking at some photographs earlier, which ultimately led to the creation of this post. I was looking at work that could not be said to be pushing thematic conventions very far. Aesthetically beautiful portraits particularly. I love being able to capture a person in a particularly beautiful manner, yet I’m not sure what the point really is, aside from the possibility of financial gain.

At this point, I guess I’m really wondering what my motivation for picking up my camera is going to be in the future. I love photographing people, but a pretty portrait just isn’t enough.